This information is provided in the hopes you will learn from my experience.
(Ignore the dates as I'm trying to post so that the last entry shows up at the end. I'll note actual dates when relevant).
This is a true story involving three people in a classic case of elder financial abuse (exploitation); my mother, her youngest son (the thief) and me
No time to read the whole blog? See the post titled "SUMMARY - HIGHLIGHTS - SOLUTIONS"
The mother:
84 years old
High school graduate
Blind due to macular degeneration.
Became a widow in 1987.
In hospice due to cancer
Two sons
The oldest son (me):
Adopted at six months of age
48 years old
BS degree
Honorably discharged from the US Air Force as a Major
Airline Pilot and published author
Wife and two children
I consider myself very knowledgeable with all matters financial. I subscribe to several financial publications and have read several books on subjects such as insurance, personal finance and stock investing.
The youngest son (from here on referred to as XX):
Adopted at about two years of age (not sure)
46 years old
He has a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality. Bipolar?
Associates Degree
single
Prior to my fathers death in 1987, my parents lived in a two story home. I was moving around the country flying with different companies wherever I could find work. XX worked and was paying rent to live in peoples homes (typically the lower floor of a home). When my father died, I moved back home to help my mother out and to also re-evaluate my own life (flying jobs were scarce).
For the next few years, I worked as a temp and eventually went back to work as a flight instructor. In 1990, my life turned around as I got married and was hired by a commuter airline. I left home for good. For the next 11 years, all was well. I was raising a family and went from apartments to my first and second homes. XX continued renting and working.
It's after 9/11 that things begin to fall apart.
Monday, October 19, 2009
A new world
Certainly it was a new world after 9/11, perhaps more so for me as an airline pilot. The week prior to 9/11, my wife and I completed the sale of home #1 and purchase of home #2 (for our growing family). We went from living near our families to living two hours away. At the same time, unknown to me, my mother and XX decided to sell the family home. They would buy a house together. So the house was sold and ALL the proceeds were put into the new home. XX took out a mortgage on the balance. XX was listed on the deed along with my mother (joint tenants with rights of survivor-ship). By the time I was informed, it was done.
My mother had a very straight forward will, which she never updated after the move. XX and I split everything. Well, that was the idea anyway. Under State law, as I understand it, the new house will go to XX upon the death of my mother. The will is of no help, especially since to this day (seven years later) it still references the prior home as her residence. Morally, XX should understand that when he sells the house, he should give half of my mothers portion from the original house to me. Won't happen.
My mothers health up to this point is what you'd expect of an older woman. She has battled different cancers and has a breathing condition called COPD. She gets around alright and still drives. She's slowing down, but otherwise not much change as far as I can tell.
SUMMARY: In 2001, I moved my family two hours away from our families. My mother and XX sell the family home, buy a new house together with both on the deed. My mothers health is not yet an issue.
My mother had a very straight forward will, which she never updated after the move. XX and I split everything. Well, that was the idea anyway. Under State law, as I understand it, the new house will go to XX upon the death of my mother. The will is of no help, especially since to this day (seven years later) it still references the prior home as her residence. Morally, XX should understand that when he sells the house, he should give half of my mothers portion from the original house to me. Won't happen.
My mothers health up to this point is what you'd expect of an older woman. She has battled different cancers and has a breathing condition called COPD. She gets around alright and still drives. She's slowing down, but otherwise not much change as far as I can tell.
SUMMARY: In 2001, I moved my family two hours away from our families. My mother and XX sell the family home, buy a new house together with both on the deed. My mothers health is not yet an issue.
A hint of trouble-2001 thru 2006
In late 2001, my mother almost dies. Passerby call police and she's taken to the hospital. She had respiratory arrest. She was in intensive care on a breathing machine. It took a long time for her to get her strength back. I don't know for sure, but I suspect it was at this time XX started paying bills for her and started opening her mail. At this point, neither one of us is designated Power of Attorney and technically, he should not be writing checks from her account.
My mother eventually returns home, but her health took a big hit. As time goes by, she has another attack and goes through the same experience. Also during these years, I learn XX is in financial difficulty. Debt collectors call my mothers phone asking for XX. I don't know why they have her number. Notices are left on her cars windshield. One of my moms friends told me that while walking towards my moms house to visit, a representative from a collection agency approached her and asked questions.
Eventually, my mothers bank accounts are frozen. Apparently, she had XX listed on the accounts. My mother was not at all happy. Somehow, the situation was rectified and she transferred the funds to new accounts with no other names listed. I imagine his own account(s) have been frozen and maybe to this day he has no accounts of his own. My mothers vision starts to deteriorate due to macular degeneration.
During this period, I decided to have a hard talk with her. I asked to go through her box of important papers. So I found her will, with the prior house referenced, and I also found some old stock certificates. I did a lot of research and spent hours on the computer and made plenty of phone calls. The stock certificates were for the old MaBell phone company. There's a company called ComputerShare that serves as a repository for old stocks. Everything has been computerized. See the next post for what happens.
I told my mother she needed to go into a retirement home where people could keep an eye on her. I found a great place 30 minutes away from where I live. It's very much like a nice hotel. They had a nice dining room and the menu listed a very good selection of food. They would provide free transportation to and from doctor appointments. As a matter of fact, the hospital is not far and the area is full of medical facilities and all sorts of specialists. The retirement home also provided entertainment and so on. I don't want to bore you, but this place was great.
I worked out the financial aspect and I basically had everything set to go. All I needed was the go ahead. Naturally, my mother didn't want to hear about it. I explained it had to be done BEFORE she needed it, while she was still independent and in relatively good health. I explained she couldn't just snap her fingers and go. Crucial to this was I knew the housing bubble would burst. I wanted them to sell the house while they could get enough money. The principle would be safe as the interest would pay the monthly rent. Of course, I had not yet figured out XX wanted the house to himself. He knew what he was doing.
So that was that. I have a clear conscience. If this had worked out, they would have made good money on the house. The money would be safe and my mother would be well taken care of. The cancer which is killing her might have been discovered earlier and treated. And perhaps my mother would not have spent hours on the floor, bleeding and alone in her current place because no one was there every time she fell (three times so far I believe).
SUMMARY: Mothers health in decline. XX opens her mail and pays bills during her hospitalization, even though he is not Power of Attorney. XX is pursued by one or more debt collectors. Mothers bank accounts frozen as XX is listed on those accounts. Mother opens new accounts in her name only. Her vision is deteriorating.
My mother eventually returns home, but her health took a big hit. As time goes by, she has another attack and goes through the same experience. Also during these years, I learn XX is in financial difficulty. Debt collectors call my mothers phone asking for XX. I don't know why they have her number. Notices are left on her cars windshield. One of my moms friends told me that while walking towards my moms house to visit, a representative from a collection agency approached her and asked questions.
Eventually, my mothers bank accounts are frozen. Apparently, she had XX listed on the accounts. My mother was not at all happy. Somehow, the situation was rectified and she transferred the funds to new accounts with no other names listed. I imagine his own account(s) have been frozen and maybe to this day he has no accounts of his own. My mothers vision starts to deteriorate due to macular degeneration.
During this period, I decided to have a hard talk with her. I asked to go through her box of important papers. So I found her will, with the prior house referenced, and I also found some old stock certificates. I did a lot of research and spent hours on the computer and made plenty of phone calls. The stock certificates were for the old MaBell phone company. There's a company called ComputerShare that serves as a repository for old stocks. Everything has been computerized. See the next post for what happens.
I told my mother she needed to go into a retirement home where people could keep an eye on her. I found a great place 30 minutes away from where I live. It's very much like a nice hotel. They had a nice dining room and the menu listed a very good selection of food. They would provide free transportation to and from doctor appointments. As a matter of fact, the hospital is not far and the area is full of medical facilities and all sorts of specialists. The retirement home also provided entertainment and so on. I don't want to bore you, but this place was great.
I worked out the financial aspect and I basically had everything set to go. All I needed was the go ahead. Naturally, my mother didn't want to hear about it. I explained it had to be done BEFORE she needed it, while she was still independent and in relatively good health. I explained she couldn't just snap her fingers and go. Crucial to this was I knew the housing bubble would burst. I wanted them to sell the house while they could get enough money. The principle would be safe as the interest would pay the monthly rent. Of course, I had not yet figured out XX wanted the house to himself. He knew what he was doing.
So that was that. I have a clear conscience. If this had worked out, they would have made good money on the house. The money would be safe and my mother would be well taken care of. The cancer which is killing her might have been discovered earlier and treated. And perhaps my mother would not have spent hours on the floor, bleeding and alone in her current place because no one was there every time she fell (three times so far I believe).
SUMMARY: Mothers health in decline. XX opens her mail and pays bills during her hospitalization, even though he is not Power of Attorney. XX is pursued by one or more debt collectors. Mothers bank accounts frozen as XX is listed on those accounts. Mother opens new accounts in her name only. Her vision is deteriorating.
I found Money!
My mother opened her new accounts on 13 Oct 2006. The closing balance for her checking account is $563.49 and for her savings is $10,177.69. This will be my starting point for all calculations to come. I have this information because on 02 July 2007, she appointed me Power of Attorney, and with that, I did much research. More on that later.
Here's the new accounts (clicking images enlarges them. Use your back button to return):
In the last post I mentioned I found stock certificates left from my father. After much work on my part, I was able to sell the stocks and deposit $15,223.03 into my moms savings account. This occurred on 06 Dec 2006.
At this point, in my mind, I believe XX has no knowledge of what is in the savings account and can not access it. I can't recall why I believed that, and I'm still positive to this day XX had no idea what was in savings. I'm aware he's helping himself to my mothers money, but it's only a few hundred a month from her checking account, so I let it go. I observe that XX is signing my mothers name on checks. XX has her debit card with access to her checking account. XX is starting to handle the mail (recall they live in the same house). XX is paying some of his bills directly from her checking account (where the biller deducts the amount automatically), such as the newspaper, EZpass, etc. This list will grow over time. XX is also using her credit card. My mothers vision is going fast.
SUMMARY: My mother starts with a clean slate; brand new checking and savings account. I find $15K in stocks and deposit the proceeds into her savings. XX is stealing a few hundred from my mother here and there, and I let it go.
Here's the new accounts (clicking images enlarges them. Use your back button to return):
In the last post I mentioned I found stock certificates left from my father. After much work on my part, I was able to sell the stocks and deposit $15,223.03 into my moms savings account. This occurred on 06 Dec 2006.
At this point, in my mind, I believe XX has no knowledge of what is in the savings account and can not access it. I can't recall why I believed that, and I'm still positive to this day XX had no idea what was in savings. I'm aware he's helping himself to my mothers money, but it's only a few hundred a month from her checking account, so I let it go. I observe that XX is signing my mothers name on checks. XX has her debit card with access to her checking account. XX is starting to handle the mail (recall they live in the same house). XX is paying some of his bills directly from her checking account (where the biller deducts the amount automatically), such as the newspaper, EZpass, etc. This list will grow over time. XX is also using her credit card. My mothers vision is going fast.
SUMMARY: My mother starts with a clean slate; brand new checking and savings account. I find $15K in stocks and deposit the proceeds into her savings. XX is stealing a few hundred from my mother here and there, and I let it go.
I had my chance - 02 July 2007
To sort of recap, my mother and XX are living together in the same house. She has the downstairs and XX lives upstairs. Both are listed on the deed. My mothers health is in decline and she is losing her vision. Since she's having trouble seeing and writing, XX starts to open her mail and write checks for her (signing her name) and has the use of her debit card which will access only her checking account.
In the period 2006/2007, XX had a boyfriend and I think they were close. They had a very bad break-up and I think somehow this leads to the finances of XX going from bad to out of control. My recollection of the sequence of events in this time period may not be accurate. Just keep the boyfriend in back of your mind. I'm going to come back to it later.
IMPORTANT as this comes into play later. I can not access banking information via computer as XX has already established that. However, he has not set up the phone response system, so I'm able to monitor my mothers accounts (Washington Mutual) that way. I also have computer access to her credit card at Chase. Her insurance policy and another account are at MetLife.
My mother has no clue what's going on. As I realize things are not good, I lower the limit on my moms credit card to $4,000 (while XX is in hospital; next paragraph). I don't think I was Power of Attorney yet, but as I was logging into her credit card account online, I was able to do it that way, no questions asked
On 02 July 2007, my mother appoints me Power of Attorney. This occurs because XX is hospitalized with some strange heart problem and he's almost killed by it. Apparently some sort of infection (or was it drugs or exposure to something? The privacy act means only the police can find out). I explain to my mother that with him unable to help, and her health on the rocks, she should appoint me POA so that I could legally attend to her financial needs. I send a copy to the institutions with which she has accounts and I get access to records. Oh yeah, and my mother and XX made a big deal out of the doctors attitude. When XX asked the doctor what would happen to him, the doctor responded "You're going to die". ( March 2010 update: I now understand why the doctor said that).
And so the biggest mistake occurs. Even though I'm POA, I don't redirect mail and bills. I don't take the checkbook and debit/credit cards. BIG, BIG mistake. So this is the cross I bear. You ask why I didn't do anything? XX is the one driving her all over and shopping for her. He lives with her. It just seemed like not a big deal at the time. My wife tells me I tried to take over, but XX gave a hard time. I don't recall.
I still thought XX was basically good and trying to help my mother. The fact XX was paying some of his bills with her money was not a great concern because, as I figured, he takes days off to run her to doctors appointments, drives her on Saturdays to visit friends, does her shopping and so on. I had no idea what was to come. So anyway, XX got out of the hospital and everything continued.
On several occasions, prior to this date and last August, I begged my mother to at least move in with my family. We have room. Lot's of room. She'd have the master bedroom which has its own full bath with a walk-in shower which is large. There's usually someone here, we cook and clean and overall she'd be on easy street. Like talking to a wall though.
I think it was January 2008 when I had a real sense of trouble. I suggested to my mother she give me $10K for safekeeping. XX didn't like that and called me to put a stop to it. I had the check in my possession, signed by my mother. I waited and I think in February I deposited it. She signed a letter saying it was a gift and that was also written in the memo spot. If she needs it while she's alive, I'll buy whatever she needs with it. After she dies, it'll still be considered a gift. At least I've managed to save some of her money for her.
SUMMARY: XX was hospitalized and I was appointed Power of Attorney. XX had a boyfriend and they had a bad break-up. XX is paying some of his bills from my mothers checking account and signing her name on checks.
In the period 2006/2007, XX had a boyfriend and I think they were close. They had a very bad break-up and I think somehow this leads to the finances of XX going from bad to out of control. My recollection of the sequence of events in this time period may not be accurate. Just keep the boyfriend in back of your mind. I'm going to come back to it later.
IMPORTANT as this comes into play later. I can not access banking information via computer as XX has already established that. However, he has not set up the phone response system, so I'm able to monitor my mothers accounts (Washington Mutual) that way. I also have computer access to her credit card at Chase. Her insurance policy and another account are at MetLife.
My mother has no clue what's going on. As I realize things are not good, I lower the limit on my moms credit card to $4,000 (while XX is in hospital; next paragraph). I don't think I was Power of Attorney yet, but as I was logging into her credit card account online, I was able to do it that way, no questions asked
On 02 July 2007, my mother appoints me Power of Attorney. This occurs because XX is hospitalized with some strange heart problem and he's almost killed by it. Apparently some sort of infection (or was it drugs or exposure to something? The privacy act means only the police can find out). I explain to my mother that with him unable to help, and her health on the rocks, she should appoint me POA so that I could legally attend to her financial needs. I send a copy to the institutions with which she has accounts and I get access to records. Oh yeah, and my mother and XX made a big deal out of the doctors attitude. When XX asked the doctor what would happen to him, the doctor responded "You're going to die". ( March 2010 update: I now understand why the doctor said that).
And so the biggest mistake occurs. Even though I'm POA, I don't redirect mail and bills. I don't take the checkbook and debit/credit cards. BIG, BIG mistake. So this is the cross I bear. You ask why I didn't do anything? XX is the one driving her all over and shopping for her. He lives with her. It just seemed like not a big deal at the time. My wife tells me I tried to take over, but XX gave a hard time. I don't recall.
I still thought XX was basically good and trying to help my mother. The fact XX was paying some of his bills with her money was not a great concern because, as I figured, he takes days off to run her to doctors appointments, drives her on Saturdays to visit friends, does her shopping and so on. I had no idea what was to come. So anyway, XX got out of the hospital and everything continued.
On several occasions, prior to this date and last August, I begged my mother to at least move in with my family. We have room. Lot's of room. She'd have the master bedroom which has its own full bath with a walk-in shower which is large. There's usually someone here, we cook and clean and overall she'd be on easy street. Like talking to a wall though.
I think it was January 2008 when I had a real sense of trouble. I suggested to my mother she give me $10K for safekeeping. XX didn't like that and called me to put a stop to it. I had the check in my possession, signed by my mother. I waited and I think in February I deposited it. She signed a letter saying it was a gift and that was also written in the memo spot. If she needs it while she's alive, I'll buy whatever she needs with it. After she dies, it'll still be considered a gift. At least I've managed to save some of her money for her.
SUMMARY: XX was hospitalized and I was appointed Power of Attorney. XX had a boyfriend and they had a bad break-up. XX is paying some of his bills from my mothers checking account and signing her name on checks.
All hell breaks loose - 09 Aug 2009
Well, here's the lead up to one of the worst weeks of my life. We're all familiar with the financial meltdown. In the late winter (start of 2009), Chase (my mothers credit card), MetLife (her insurance and a spending account) and Washington Mutual (checking and savings accounts) are all merged. Sadly, the ramifications of this escaped me. I'm merrily going about my life believing XX is simply taking a few extra dollars for himself once in awhile and using my mothers checking account to pay some bills.
In early 2009, Chase took over and, I'm guessing, sent out new ATM cards. The bank statements changed also. Not only did XX now see ALL of her accounts and balances, but HE HAD ACCESS! Well, access to the savings account which I thought was safe. If you look a few posts up, you'll see the savings account is at $24,949.48 after my big deposit. Over time, my mom probably took some money out ($1,552 and about $1,244 was transferred to checking during the 2 year 5 month period), so here's the last statement before XX jumps in:
It shows $22,152.90. Now here's the following months savings statement:
In early 2009, Chase took over and, I'm guessing, sent out new ATM cards. The bank statements changed also. Not only did XX now see ALL of her accounts and balances, but HE HAD ACCESS! Well, access to the savings account which I thought was safe. If you look a few posts up, you'll see the savings account is at $24,949.48 after my big deposit. Over time, my mom probably took some money out ($1,552 and about $1,244 was transferred to checking during the 2 year 5 month period), so here's the last statement before XX jumps in:
By the time I discover XX is raiding her savings (while still paying his bills with her checking account) in early August, he's already blown through $4,000! I discovered this on Sunday, August 9th. Logging into the Chase credit card account, I was presented with an entirely new screen. I had been checking the credit card every few months and was lax about the checking account since he couldn't steal too much there and the savings account had been safe. So looking at the new screen, I'm wondering why her checking, savings, MetLife insurance and spending accounts are there (remember this used to be just a credit card account). I quickly put it all together and realize what had happened. XX realized it too, but several months earlier.
So first thing Monday morning (the 10th), I race to the closest Chase bank I can find and close the savings account. I hadn't called my mother about this and perhaps I should have, but I knew she wasn't spending that kind of money. I suspected XX but there was also the possibility of identity theft. I wanted to close it first and then figure out what happened. So here's the statement where I closed the savings account. I left the checking intact. I'm going to explain the transactions below.
So you'll see that in closing the savings account, I was left with $18,010.77. The next week was very bad as XX went absolutely berserk. More on that later. I deposited the money at another bank in my mothers name with me as POA. Because of the events that unfolded during the week, I was forced to return the money where XX could get at it. Figuratively speaking, my brother had, and still has, a gun to my mothers head. Any move I make ultimately affects her. Before I close the new accounts, I send a check for $3,263.00 to the credit card and cancel it before he runs it up to the $4K limit. Not only was I angry about the balance, but he's not making payments on time and so the interest and fees are adding up. After that's done I close the new accounts. After paying $11 for checks, $50 early closing fee and allowing for .30 in interest, I get a check for $14,687.07 which I deposit into my mothers checking account. You'll see that in the image above. Also you'll see a withdrawal 9/2 for $503.50. I gave my mother a gift card so she would have something for cash while all the transactions settled.
I want to mention that XX can't seem to pay anything on time. The lights went out once for not paying the electric bill. Her cable went out another time. I saw a warning letter from the auto insurance company that coverage was about to be dropped (it was a postcard). On and on....
By the way, I discovered he has an alias name, Tom Crown. What if he used it to fraudulently obtain a government ID? I have information XX's drivers license is suspended. I believe XX created the alias in order to obtain a new drivers license and perhaps other government ID's and/or financial accounts. It's possible he created the alias with information found through his employment at a financial institution.
SUMMARY: He starts stealing in a big way. And it's blatant stealing at that. He has an alias and most likely obtained a new drivers license with it. Highly probable his 'real' license was suspended.
Our text messages
So here's the text as things start off Monday afternoon. There's a break during the week because he thinks I'm sending money down (a delay tactic) and then XX goes wild on Friday the 14th. You'll notice I don't text back on the 15th or 16th. I'm away in a hotel with the phone turned off for the weekend. My wife and kids went away to get out of the house.
I blocked out identifying information and his curse words. I've written some more at the bottom:
He often writes "mom said..." or "mom and I want to know...". What a bunch of crud. My mother and I talked about this and she said she wasn't involved, that she didn't say anything.
Notice below his comment "Hope yo have been enjoying the show".
Next he mentions me hitting my mom up for money (recall the $10K she gave me in Jan 2008, previous post) and the girls college. I previously explained to my mother that there was only $10,000 of insurance money for me, that XX would get the house, would exhaust her bank accounts and still get his share of insurance money, $10K. I explained my girls would get nothing and since this is it for grandchildren, and her money, she should consider giving each money now, while she had money. I ended up with her authorization to give each grandchild $2K, which I never took out because XX would blow a gasket and again my mother would be trapped with his maniacal screaming and all..
After I wrote the word "Mark", the boyfriend with whom he had a bad break-up, the text messages stopped. Do you see that statement "BTW I have moor debt case on of ***hole"? I think it's a Freudian slip.
After this exchange, he starts calling our house phone and hanging up. At some point I'm talking to my mother and she tells me XX left in the car. I'm convinced he's coming to my house to kill us all. My youngest daughter was supposed to have friend over to spend the night. The friend had just arrived, so I explained to the friends mother the situation and both kids left. Then, my oldest daughter and wife quickly pack bags and we're out of here looking for a hotel. Yup, scared out of our own home. Because of weddings in the area, the hotels were full. We drive around and then park to think about everything. I guess about 2AM we ended up back in our house, but we slept in another part of the house with a supply of knives and other defensive weapons. We did go away for the weekend however just to relax and get away. I also changed phone numbers, canceled my email account and canceled my membership to social networking sites.
Friends and neighbors called the next day just to make sure we were still alive.
Without going into details, I have seen to the protection of my family and everyone knows exactly what to do should anyone attempt to break in. We sleep just fine.
The images below show what happened when he realized his credit card was closed out. He made such a stink about not being able to use EZpass and he even had my mother involved. I argued they could drive in the cash lane but of course XX wanted plastic. To calm my mother down, I had to get him a new card. I actually opened a new one in my mothers name and had his name listed also. I can't recall why I listed him at the moment.
PENDEJO means jerk, coward or silly.
He always had a short temper. I recall one time playing Parcheesi with my parents and XX. I guess XX was losing or who knows what but he flipped the game-board off the table and went upstairs. Another time, I arrived home from college (six hour drive) and walked in on a fight between XX and my father. XX threw a big heavy ashtray and charged out. I went back to my car and headed for the police station. I was going to ask for help but decided to let it go. I was afraid that night, that's how much of a nut he is.
Most recently, he had a cat. The cat ended up downstairs and my mom didn't know what was going on, so she let it out and goodbye kitty. XX was furious. He yelled at her and when slamming the pocket door, threw the door off its track. Also recently, I was visiting my mother and XX called from work. She mentioned I could mow the lawn to him, but he made it very clear I was not to mow the lawn. Well, the following week I forgot about that and mowed the lawn. You wouldn't believe the messages he sent, all because I mowed the lawn. Maybe if he did it, I wouldn't have to. I wish I had those messages because you wouldn't believe it.
So I started to think maybe he's on drugs, that by closing the savings account, I deprived him of drug money. I started to think he had drugs hidden in the back lawn in some exotic hiding spot. His anger and the things he blows up about make no sense. His anger is so intense.
SUMMARY: he's unstable
Let's talk money - how much is missing?
OK, here's the screen shot. Click it to enlarge the view. Sit down:
Here's a couple of recent transactions that occurred shortly after the above image was taken. I circled the new withdrawals.
That's $5215 in two months.
At this rate, it'll all be gone soon. I would have thought a lot of transactions at different locations like this would trigger some sort of alert at the bank. Oh well! Anyway, let's do some math. I'm going to work with the 36 bank statements starting when my mom opened up the new accounts.
So let's keep it simple. I want to start off as if during those 36 statements she received no income and spent no money. I want to start with a number after all the wacky transactions from when I closed/opened accounts.
10,741 starting balance
+15,223 from stock I sold
- 1,552 miscellaneous withdrawals my mother (I assume) made or directed 10/13/06 - 3/3/09
- 3,263 I paid to the credit card
- 61 bank fees and we're left with
21,088 which is what would be in her account right now with no other transactions. The next is easy. Let's add all of her deposits from social security, her pension and my fathers life insurance.
21,088
+52,916
= $74,004
Now to subtract her spending. What I believe her spending should be anyway. I actually called the cable company for example. I have a family myself so I can guess what things cost. Here's my estimates based on my mother paying the FULL BILL, which makes no sense since they both use electricity, benefit from gas heat and so on. But I'll start her paying the whole thing EXCLUDING mortgage, property tax and homeowners insurance.
Per month:
139 auto insurance
80 gas & tolls
3 towards auto registration
200 doctors/meds
20 gifts
50 personal care
200 groceries (she eats like a bird)
60 dine out
30 phone
200 electric
25 cable (should be $0 as the two channels she watches are available with rabbit ears.)
125 natural gas
275 for other stuff
Now I may be off base on some of that or there may be something I missed. I just want to get a rough idea.
So that comes to 1,407/month. Over the period of the 36 bank statements we get:
74,004
-50,652
=$23,352 she should have in the bank if she's paying almost everything.
If we take the figures and assume she pays full for her stuff and splits other items, I get:
74,004
-36,828
=$37,176 she should have in the bank if they split certain items.
Finally, if we take the figures, forget about the $275 I have for 'other stuff' and she pays for only her stuff, I get (she puts $100 to electricity and $100 to gas):
74,004
-27,360
=$46,644 she should have in the bank if all was handled the way it should have been
What does she actually have in the bank? Drum-roll please.......
$10,114 (29 Oct 09) is currently in her bank. Yup. I can only wonder where they'd be right now if I didn't find that $15K my father had in stock. I mean, they'd be $5,109 in the hole.
So depending on the scenario we use, there's a shortage of $13,238, $27,062 or $36,530. That's a pretty wide range. I think it's safe to say he stole at least $20K. Consider this; when she started her new accounts, she had $10,741.18 which is about where she is now. So XX at a minimum burned through the $15,223.03 I deposited from the sale of stocks, right?
Why is she paying auto insurance when she hasn't driven in several years? Why is my mother paying so much to Verizon and cable? Why is she paying interest, ATM transaction and late fees? Why is she paying anything? I mean, we''re talking about an old woman sitting in basically a small apartment. How much can she really be spending? Many working people are supporting a family. He can't even support himself. He's pathetic.
My mother is clueless and doesn't care. I don't blame her. When you're 80+ and staring death in the eye, would you give a hoot about your money?
To quote my favorite author Kurt Vonnegut Jr., "so it goes".
By the way, I didn't want you to think I'm ignoring the credit card, but with a $2K limit, I'm not really watching it, but here's a screen shot. Notice the bonehead's already into late fees:
SUMMARY: A lot of money is missing. I think XX has stolen at least $20,000 (closer to $30K).
Where is it going?
It's only natural for me to wonder where $20,000 or more went, right? Supposedly he has a job (making almost $68K/yr). Where's his money going? He's driving my moms old car. He doesn't have nice clothes or an expensive watch. If he had medical bills, he would tell me. I had to go upstairs to his place while he was in the hospital. I can't recall why but it was disgusting up there. The health department would have condemned it. I told my wife I would never eat there again (we celebrated Thanksgiving there twice I believe).
So back to the question. Where could that much money go? I have pleaded with him to open up to me, that perhaps I could help him with whatever trouble he's in. SLAM! Alright then. I asked him if we could all sit down together and discuss finances. SLAM! I'm trying.
Back to the hospital; what happened there? Could drugs have lead to that episode? It's not like he went to a jungle in a third world county. Can I assume it's cocaine? Could it be gambling? Is he being blackmailed? Oh yeah, remember that boyfriend, Mark? Maybe he knows something. I'm tracking him down and I'm going to get some answers. (UPDATE June 2010: I think the guy's back in Canada). Below are some photos of his part of the house; as far as I dare go anyway.
That's a pile of mail under the booklet. Probably some unpaid bills in there.
That's the stove straight ahead where the kettle is.
Better view of the stove with junk on it.
Yep, that's a dog in his cage.
Normally, you'd see a living room, but all this junk blocks the view.
SUMMARY: I have no clue as to where all this money is going. I think it's drugs.
So back to the question. Where could that much money go? I have pleaded with him to open up to me, that perhaps I could help him with whatever trouble he's in. SLAM! Alright then. I asked him if we could all sit down together and discuss finances. SLAM! I'm trying.
Back to the hospital; what happened there? Could drugs have lead to that episode? It's not like he went to a jungle in a third world county. Can I assume it's cocaine? Could it be gambling? Is he being blackmailed? Oh yeah, remember that boyfriend, Mark? Maybe he knows something. I'm tracking him down and I'm going to get some answers. (UPDATE June 2010: I think the guy's back in Canada). Below are some photos of his part of the house; as far as I dare go anyway.
That's a pile of mail under the booklet. Probably some unpaid bills in there.
That's the stove straight ahead where the kettle is.
Better view of the stove with junk on it.
Yep, that's a dog in his cage.
Normally, you'd see a living room, but all this junk blocks the view.
SUMMARY: I have no clue as to where all this money is going. I think it's drugs.
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