Today is Monday, January 11, 1010. Baloney head is actually at work. Here's an exchange we had today via email.
XX
(my name): Let me get this straight, first thing is you went to a funeral home on Nelson Ave and arranged things? Second you did not pay out anything right? The reason I am asking is that I know she really wants Colonial which is where we had dad. So it is her request, and that's where she will be brought then. You have almost 10K out of her money market acct? to pay for her funeral. (which I feel you should have left alone, and only used when it was necessary) I strongly feel we must obey her wishes which is Colonial Funeral Home on the Blvd. I will go with you only when she passes away to make arrangements. I have been there for her from day one and I will be there for her on her last need, ok? I will not go before to do anything. Lastly stop hiring lawyers and paying w moms money to review the deed to my house.
(Note at the end he writes "my house". Also note how important it is to follow her wishes regarding the funeral home, but it seems her wishes don't apply when it comes to the distribution of her assets).
ME
First of all, everything at my Yahoo email page is in German for some reason, so I'm having trouble with that. I clicked the wrong button and deleted this but was able to find it in the trash.
Nothing happened at Nelson Ave, only price estimates. Nothing paid out or contracts filled. Nothing. I don't care where the funeral is done. If you've got it all figured out, then that's enough for me. I just don't want a big commotion all of a sudden and if I'm away, you'll be on your own until I get back.
The lawyer was based on mom's OK to update her will. Since it was her will, she paid for the initial consultation. They said they had to get a copy of the deed and a copy of the previous will. Mom said to check with you before (her) signing anything, which I did. You shot it down, so that's that. Mom wouldn't have to leave the house by the way, they would go to her.
Regarding the $10K; I explained to mom long ago that you would inherit the house regardless of what her will says (since you told me long ago you're both on the deed). I told her there was no way I would ever get half of the *** St house (which amounts to $215K for each of us). I explained you could keep the house indefinitely tying up money I should have had. And based on the debt collectors phone calls, notes on her windshield and their personal appearances on the sidewalk asking for info, the house will probably have liens on it anyway. So, since I realistically will get zilch, she gave me $10K which I would have if she needed it (while alive) or if she never used it, I would keep it.
If you let mom update her will and do what should be done so "HER" wishes are complied with, then I'll put $10K towards the funeral. You can set it up yourself or you can continue with the lawyer I used. You can even be the executor. I just want my half of *** Street. The lawyer should be able to figure it out.
I'm trying to change my email by the way because this German stuff is driving me nuts. If you write back and it bounces back to you, that means Yahoo is fixing it or I had to close it and start over.
XX
The money that you should have had? The money you should have had? You in my opinion should not have anything, the money you should have had your motives speak of nothing but greed. You seem to have this sense of entitlement to the money, you have done nothing, and continue to do nothing for this poor woman in her last days. Amazing how you have the time to make to come down and see a lawyer though right (my name)? Couldn't make the time to help with dr's appts, or when she was in the hospital on the respirator right (my name). As for liens on the house, there aren't any , so there. Mom spoke with me this weekend about your actions and knows nothing of you going to see a lawyer, and what personal encounters are you talking about?
(Second email arrived immediately after this)
All I am trying to tell u is that she really wants to waked at Colonial
ME
Waked at Colonial. Fine.
As far as Dr. apts, etc. How many times did you arrange for me to take her? Sometimes I did it and other times you for some reason changed your mind and said you'd take her.
I saw the lawyer once and that was on a day that I visited mom. No special trip. If mom doesn't want to admit she knows about it, fine. Maybe she's afraid you'll have one of your outbursts like when she let the cat out and you made the pocket door go off the track.
Personal encounters? Well, actually one, but it was a few years ago. Some guy asking if I was you as I approached the house. Told him no and goodbye. If he was there then, he was probably there other times also.
As far as in the hospital on a respirator, I visited her on my own, not always with you. I visited once on my way to work and the Doctor very coldly asked me about taking her off the respirator to let her die. Like asking to take out the trash or something. Very cold.
XX
Whatever (my name), w/e is all I have to say to you. Just remember the time I had to call you after she was on a respirator for her third or forth day and had to call u to tell u to come down and see her, w/e. I am exhausted from you and your b/s. So that's all I have to say. EXCUSES, EXCUSES/EXCUSES. LIKE I SAID W/E,.
ME
what is w/e?
XX
Not a factor that mom does not want to admit anything, as you know her mental state is not the greatest, and is more preoccupied with the fact that she is dying of a horrible disease. Mom has told me that she has no idea of what u are talking about or why you did what you did, and at this stage of the game I will go more with her, as she would not lie to me. YOU on the other hand, MR. DISCONNECT YOUR PHONE NUMBERS, YOUR E MAIL ACCOUNTS, ETC are a different story. Remember that you stated in an e mail to me about four or five months ago, that you just want to find your REAL family?? Well time to start looking. W/E? FIGURE IT OUT. IF I decide to contact you I will, otherwise, adieu. How do you think your mom felt to say to me "XX, do you really think I want someone here that I have to ask to come visit me?" How do you think she felt having to admit that out loud? I am done arguing with you,enough is enough as Donna Summer would say. So that's it in a nutshell. Also how do you think your mother couldn't see you or her grandchildren on Christmas. How nice of you to treat her that way. I was with her on Thanksgiving and Christmas, I know she missed seeing you and the kids, and it can never be taken back (my name) NEVER!! How nice that that is how she had to spend her last holiday season. Alone, with her children arguing over garbage. Neither of us is perfect (although I am the closest)we each offer her something, but how sad she had to see this crud going on. I have asked you in previous e mails to let her leave in peace but no, you want to keep stirring it (my name).So you can keep stirring it, as I am leaving this issue and going onto the issue of taking care of Mom emotionally which is what she needs. So adios, enjoy your quiet solitude in the life away from family/society. All I was trying to get across to you is that we need to at least respect her wishes as to where she requested to be brought. That's it. Period, end of sentence. Now you can bring this correspondence to your lawyer for their review too. How's that grab you???
ME
Would love to have seen mom Thanksgiving and Christmas, but how could we all possibly be in the same room? If you went on your own to (someone's) house Christmas Eve, then we would have visited mom. Christmas Day was still an ice storm here and too dangerous to drive.
That reminds me. She has no problem making that big trip to (someone's), but MANY times when I suggest bringing the family down, her response is along the lines 'I don't think so, I'm tired'.
And Thanksgiving; you think we like sitting here alone eating turkey? I'd much prefer to be with mom. You have driven us away and out of the family.
January 12th
XX
I FIRST OF ALL have not driven you nowhere. YOU took it upon yourself to start staying away. Do you not understand where this is coming from. The amount of stress that I have been under is overwhelming to me at times. I would NEVER tell mom that I am not up to helping her. (my name), I walk in the door about 7, 7;30 at night, and I do not stop until about ten, maybe some nights as late as 10:30. I have been doing everything for her, everything, from getting her a simple glass of water because I see what a struggle and how out of breath she is from trying to do for herself. And yes for once I do agree w you that she does have no problem making it out to (someone's) for Christmas Eve. Those people mean the world to her, and she would love nothing more to see them and have a couple of drinks w them. Even though she wasn't supposed to have one drop of alcohol. One of the medications that she takes she can become violently ill if she has one drop of alcochol. She didn't care, she sat back and had her two glasses of wine. I know for a fact that we are too boring for her. She has said, you folks don't even like partying , she does not mean it in a bad way. Oh well we are who we are!!! As for bringing the kids down, she does not want them to see her this way. I understand why she feels that way and why she doesn't. Also she felt that her place was far from ready for Christmas, and she didn't want the kids to see nothing up or there . I felt terrible about that, but I had no time,no time at all to do it, I did what little I could do for her in terms of decorating for her. I felt horrible that she didn't have a tree up, but that stupid machine is where I would have put the tree.
So in closing all I have to say is that YOU are the one who opted to start staying away from your family, and enough is enough of this. I am sick of it all. The comments that mom has said to me about you and me would make you sick. She has said things that infuriate me,both about you and about me with the way we r acting. What a shame she has to see all this going on while she is ready to leave us. She has begged me for us to stop, and don't you think we should honor her wishes while she is still alive? I do!!
ME
Fine. For moms sake, we've made up and everything is peachy. She will think all is well. As far as my comment that you drove us away, that's because (my wife) and the kids (brats) are afraid of you, and to some degree you frighten me also. I don't know who you are.
So I can't bring my family down to see her if you're there. Like it or not, that's how it is. They would head out the door if you appeared. It's a shame they're so scared. (daughter) still sleeps on the floor in my room. Everyone has had bad dreams. I'm up many nights with stomach cramps, two hours just last night until 4AM. You don't realize the terror you inflicted that week in August. W/E (I figured out what it means).
Anyway, for mom, OK, all is well. I'll be calling her shortly.
******************************************************************************
So what this means is I keep the $10K and he handles the funeral (which should be interesting). Then I'll take that $10K to hire a lawyer to contest the will or whatever happens since the will is voided. He has no money for a lawyer and is in no position to fight me.
I had to laugh where he writes he's up to 10:30 sometimes. I was tempted to write back that he wouldn't be so tired of he wasn't running around New Jersey and Staten Island until 3AM. Pretty obvious at the end he's trying to diffuse the situation. I thought he said adios to me earlier.
I put brats in brackets there in my response to him because that's how he's referred to them lately. And we are indeed scared, not just because of August, but because we now know he's trafficking in drugs as well as using drugs. A dangerous situation I think.
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